Just like many people out there I too was diagnosed with Post Natal depression many years ago, which I believe never goes away! In fact, I would go so far as to say if it wasn't for my hubby, I probably wouldn't have been here today - knife at my wrists and not thinking straight was one of the smaller problems I had... just shortly before I got diagnosed. Thanks to his love and support along my journey of PND, I recovered as best I could, but there was always something there that didn't feel right.
It reared its ugly head again several years later and even though to me I was okay, the signs were there that I wasn't. It wasn't as bad as before, but it was there.
Years came and went, and unfortunately so did the trials and tribulations of living with depression which came in episodes, and also the anxiety, the panic attacks and general feelings of worthlessness. It's something I feel people struggle with if you have ever had depression - it's all to easy to sink back into it... and the main culprit to start it off? Overthinking.
I overthink most things if I'm having one of my bad days - from when the phone rings to reading an email in the 'wrong way'. I worry constantly about what I do, am I right, is it wrong? Are people trying to put me down (what DID they mean by saying good morning ... or why do they want to know if I'm okay..?!) But overthinking in whatever form it is drives me absolutely bonkers (but only on my bad days!) But it's not only overthinking, it's believing what you think is true... what people tell you, (am I really like that? Are they really like that? They or I must be because I feel uncomfortable with things...!)
On my good days, which I'm proud to say is now more often than the bad (and I'm sure going through early menopause helped this tremendously!!) I don't worry about hardly anything. Take me as I am. I'm me... like me or don't like me... I also made the decision to change a few major things in my life that were triggers to how I felt, and these have been positive. I will do my best to help anyone with anything and I'm happy. For the first time in years, I feel more ME than I have, like, forever!
So... the purpose of the post?
Well, I was reading an extract from one of my favourite people to have got me more into positive thinking, and attached to an email was this... below... and I thought, if you are anything like me, you may just find it useful too.
I hope you do... and I hope you are having a Good Day today. I know I am. Lots of love xxxx
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do You Fall Into the Trap of Overthinking?
I was looking up something in Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky’s excellent book, The How of Happiness, and I came across an interesting passage. (I’d marked it, so clearly I’d read it before, but I didn’t remember it well.)
Many of us believe that when we feel down, we should try to focus inwardly and evaluate our feelings and our situation in order to attain self-insight and find solutions that might ultimately resolve our problems and relieve unhappiness. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, I, and others have compiled a great deal of evidence challenging this assumption. Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that to the contrary, overthinking ushers in a host of adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negatively biased thinking, impairs a person’s ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes with concentration and initiative. Moreover, although people have a strong sense that they are gaining insight into themselves and their problems during their ruminations, this is rarely the case. What they do gain is a distorted, pessimistic perspective on their lives.
One of the tensions within happiness — at least for me — is the tension between constructive attempts at greater self-knowledge and pointless rumination. Once I started paying more attention to my habits of thinking, I began to do a better job of refraining from overthinking. When I find myself thinking in circles, I find an area of refuge, say, or I re-read one of my favorite works of children’s literature — my favorite emotional comfort food. Or, if it’s nightime, I go to bed early. Things really do look better after a good night’s sleep, and often something that had me agitated the night before seems much less worrisome the next morning.
Have you found any helpful strategies to keep yourself from overthinking?
Hi Jo
ReplyDeleteYour blog post caught my eye on Facebook and I popped over to your blog page as it's title screamed out to me. Just before Christmas I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and have been off work for the last 3 month because of this. I spend hours analysing previous conversations, telephone calls and emails. I thought I was alone in doing this, that I am weird and nobody likes me but your blog post has made me realise that it is part of what I am going through and I just wanted to say thank you. It has given me hope that I will be able to move on and learn to live with myself.
Thank you and take care
Lesley
Hello lovely,my hubby john has been off work now 12 months with depression he suffers panic attacks anxiety and feels worthless it's been very very hard, and very hard to live with he's started therapy from his works gp and actually has his last session this afternoon with hopefully view to returning back to work this is very hard for him as work is the culprit of setting john off on this rocky uneven Rd he constantly over thinks everything and I mean everything the therapist has given him breathing exercises which he said felt good and also in a panic attack or feeling uneasy to think of someone or something good and anchor himself to it and block everything else out ,it's a nightmare to live with and he pushes me away I know it's not him but his illness he also is more than happy to sneak off upstairs and be by himself which I don't think is good for him but I can only do so much as if I say anything I get my head snapped at its hard for the person supporting them as it it the person with depression such a terrible illness as on the outside everything seems to be normal and as a result he now suffers with IBS which when he getsvsressed out triggers that off ,I wish you well my lovely and to all those going through similar situations there is light at the end of the tunnel it just might take a while to get there luv and hugs victoria xxx
ReplyDeleteHello lovely,my hubby john has been off work now 12 months with depression he suffers panic attacks anxiety and feels worthless it's been very very hard, and very hard to live with he's started therapy from his works gp and actually has his last session this afternoon with hopefully view to returning back to work this is very hard for him as work is the culprit of setting john off on this rocky uneven Rd he constantly over thinks everything and I mean everything the therapist has given him breathing exercises which he said felt good and also in a panic attack or feeling uneasy to think of someone or something good and anchor himself to it and block everything else out ,it's a nightmare to live with and he pushes me away I know it's not him but his illness he also is more than happy to sneak off upstairs and be by himself which I don't think is good for him but I can only do so much as if I say anything I get my head snapped at its hard for the person supporting them as it it the person with depression such a terrible illness as on the outside everything seems to be normal and as a result he now suffers with IBS which when he getsvsressed out triggers that off ,I wish you well my lovely and to all those going through similar situations there is light at the end of the tunnel it just might take a while to get there luv and hugs victoria xxx
ReplyDeleteLike you... I know these feelings all so well... I tend to overthink everything... Drives Gary bonkers and how he puts up with me sometimes I haven't a clue but I'm thankful he does.... Never ceases to amaze me the more and more things we have in common
ReplyDeleteLove you oodles sis xoxoxo
Like you... I know these feelings all so well... I tend to overthink everything... Drives Gary bonkers and how he puts up with me sometimes I haven't a clue but I'm thankful he does.... Never ceases to amaze me the more and more things we have in common
ReplyDeleteLove you oodles sis xoxoxo